Deailng with Anger

 Anger

Anger or rage is an ineffective and inefficient way to resolve any issue or to make any problem go away. Anger is a disruptive emotion that may often lead to depression, the breakup of a marriage or a love relationship, and, worst, violence, if the anger is not properly addressed and controlled.

So, how to change your disruptive emotion of anger or rage.

Take a deep breath, and just feel your anger as you breathe in.

Look at your anger in your mind. Then review the situation, and ask yourself one simple question: Can your anger “change” the situation or anything at all?

Accept that you are now angry, and then slowly breathe it out. If necessary, use your arm like a sword cutting through your feelings of rage, while saying: “I can see my anger: it is as it was!”

Do not hold your anger in; instead, let it go, by breathing it out completely. 

Do not let it go as pain; instead, let it go as your own acceptance. But your acceptance should be viewed not as a sign of your own weakness but rather as a statement of your own communication to yourself that getting angry will never solve the problem anyway or right away.

Then, remind yourself that anger is always present to serve a purpose to release some of the deeper issues, problems, and internal conflicts that you might be carrying in your own bag and baggage all these years. It is always better to release anger than to turn it around to destroy yourself.

But suppressing your anger is also self-destructive, as the negative energy redirects itself back into your own body. Anger is always a path of destruction. Resolve anger by developing habits that may release your internal conflicts in a constructive and positive manner before it can be released as rage. 

An illustration

Donna Alexander, the creator of the “Anger Room” in Chicago, first thought of the idea as a teenager living in Chicago. Having witnessed much domestic violence and many conflicts at school as a teenager, Donna Alexander finally decided to create a space where anyone can lash out without serious consequences. While at the “Anger Room,” the guests, after paying a fee, are given a safe space to unleash their anger and rage by smashing and destroying objects, such as glasses or even a TV. In addition, the room can also be set up to look like an office or a kitchen, where anger often becomes totally uncontrollable.

Here are some thinking questions:

Can you really hold off your anger until after you have paid a fee and checked in at the “Anger Room”?

If you are so accustomed to smashing and destroying many objects at the “Anger Room,” can you still restrain yourself from doing the same when your anger is sudden and unmanageable in the office or in the kitchen of your home?