What Is True Wisdom?

“Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.” -- Albert Einstein

“Follow your instincts. That's where true wisdom manifests itself.” -- Oprah Winfrey

True wisdom is much more than knowledge or intelligence. It has much to do with the processing of information by the thinking mind. It requires much clarity and concentration of the thinking mind to see things as they really are, and not as what they are supposed to be. Accordingly, being knowledgeable may suggest smartness but not necessarily true wisdom of an individual. After all, humans are all limited in their capacity and capability to acquire knowledge, which is often unlimited. Therefore, to use what is limited for the unlimited is irrational. True wisdom, on the other hand, is empowering the thinking, which is potentially unlimited, to apply the limited knowledge acquired to understand the true nature of the self, of others, and of the world around.

True wisdom is innate and inside each and every one of us, but you just have to look inside you, just as Eckhart Tolle says in the beginning of his book The Power of Now:

“A beggar has been sitting by the side of a road for over thirty years. One day a stranger walked by. ‘Spare some change?’ mumbled the beggar, mechanically holding out his old baseball cap. ‘I have nothing to give you,’ said the stranger. Then he asked: ‘What’s that you are sitting on?’ ‘Nothing,’ replied the beggar. ‘Just an old box. I have been sitting on it for as long as I can remember.’ ‘Ever looked inside?’ asked the stranger. ‘No,’ said the beggar. ‘What’s the point? There’s nothing in there.’ ‘Have a look inside,’ insisted the stranger. The beggar managed to prey open the lid. With astonishment, disbelief, and elation, he saw that the box was filled with gold.”

Look inside! True wisdom is already inside you, but you just have to look!

Yes, looking inside is the key to understanding true human wisdom. When you look within yourself, you may become awakened and even enlightened.

THE POWER OF NOW

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Adultery in Marriage

 

 

INFIDELITY IN MARRIAGE

 Tiger Woods, one of the world’s most famous and wealthiest golfers, was caught with his dark secrets of infidelities and lies in 2009. At first, he vehemently denied and even concealed them. But, eventually, he was more forthcoming and apologetic to his fans and his family at several press conferences:

 "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. . . I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. . . I was unfaithful, I had affairs and I cheated. What I did was unacceptable. I hurt my wife, my kids, my mother, my wife's family, my friends, my foundation and kids all around the world who admired me."

 But Tiger Woods’ serial adultery and cheating made it difficult for his wife to accept his sincerity and true repentance. They were divorced in 2010.

 Maybe in one of his statements to the public, Tiger Woods was telling the truth of adultery:

 “I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt I was entitled, and thanks to money and fame, I didn't have to go far to find them.”

 Tiger Woods was awakened to the reality of accountability. With fame and money, he thought he could get away with anything. That was his self-awakening, but it came with a hefty price—a stain on his legacy.

The reality

 The purpose of a married couple is to glorify God in everything they say, do, or accomplish, and to be an expression of sacrificial love, grace, mercy, and justice to everyone—especially to each other and their children.

Biblical Adulteries

King David’s adulteries

In spite of his efforts in seeking God’s wisdom, King David also demonstrated his darker side of the sin of lust.

One night, King David saw Bathsheba, the wife of one of King David’s generals, bathing on the rooftop. Succumbing to his own sin of lust, King David sent for Bathsheba, and committed adultery with her. To gratify his lust, King David even purposely sent the general to the war front to have him killed so that he could marry the general’s widow.

King David eventually married Bathsheba. Although penitent for his sins, God punished King David, and their firstborn son died. 

King Solomon’s adulteries

King Solomon, the second son of King David, despite his profound human wisdom, violated God’s standards of sexual purity. His decision to disobey God and marry foreign women with their different gods led to his own idolatry. As a punishment for his sins, God divided Israel, and Solomon suffered bitterness and emptiness at the end of his life.

The difference between King David and King Solomon is that King David always lived in the presence of the Lord. So, King David always turned back to God with remorse and repentance, while King Solomon only distanced himself from God with no contrition and remorse.

So, living in the presence of the Lord always reminds you of your own accountability to Him, without which you will do anything and everything, thinking that you can get away with it.

The reality

Always live in the presence of the Shepherd. Always let the Shepherd guide you in the green pastures. Always let the Shepherd overcome your enemies of pride, lust, and deceit. Always let the Shepherd use His rod and staff not only to protect you but also to restrain and discipline you. Always let the Lord be your Shepherd throughout your marriage journey.

Adultery is a conscious and deliberate act to do just the opposite of what a marriage commitment requires. Adultery is prevalent because it has become the new “norm.” According to many, adultery is just a sin, not a crime, and everybody commits sins of some sort anyway. But adultery is a sin directly against God, who creates the marriage, joining the two as one. So, committing adultery is lack of accountability to God, and is unforgivable without judgment and repentance.

Getting Married to Make You Happy?

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Nothing Is Everything

 

ANYTHING IS EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING IS NOTHING! NOTHING IS EVERYTHING!

All About . . . .

"Anything Is Everything, Everything Is Nothing, Nothing Is Everything" is a miracle of life and living, based on the ancient wisdom of Lao Tzu from China, and the Biblical wisdom.

Live your life as if everything is a miracle. To do just that, you need the wisdom to know how your mind works--especially how it has created your ego-self that demands your attachments to the material world.

Learn how to be in the physical world, but not of the material world. More importantly, get the wisdom to know who you really are, and not who you wish you were. Knowing and understanding the truths of anything and everything may enlighten you so that you intuit the ultimate truth that everything is actually nothing, but this nothingness is your pathway to everything in your life.

The Outline of the Book . . . .

ONE: ANYTHING IS EVERYTHING

A frog in a well
Human wisdom and spiritual wisdom
Oneness of all life
Love and forgiveness
Gratitude and generosity
Sympathy and empathy
Compassion and loving-kindness

TWO: EVERYTHING IS NOTHING

Understanding is everything
The mind and the ego
Attachments and illusions
Control and power
Detachment and letting go

THREE: NOTHING IS EVERYTHING

The paradox
The Way
The miracle
The enlightenment

ANYTHING IS EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING IS NOTHING! NOTHING IS EVERYTHING!

Click here to get your copy.

An Excerpt from the Book . . . .


NOTHING IS EVERYTHING

The Paradox

”I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.” Plato

“The paradox of reality is that no image is as compelling as the one which exists only in the mind's eye.”   Shana Alexande

“The thinker without a paradox is like a lover without a feeling: a paltry mediocrity.”  Soren Kierkegaard

“Nothing is everything” is a paradox. In life, there are many paradoxes. The way of paradoxes is the way of attaining the ultimate truths of anything and everything. Knowing and understanding a paradox requires wisdom to see different human perspectives in anything and everything.

Paradoxes may be the way to wisdom, to the miracle of life, and ultimately to enlightenment.

An illustration

Christopher Paul Gardner, an American  author, entrepreneur, investor, and philanthropist, was very poor and homeless in the early 1980s. Sleeping on the floor of a public toilet, Gardner never dreamt that he would become a multi-millionaire one day. His inspiring life story was made into a hit Hollywood movie: “The Pursuit of Happyness.”

Gardner was brought up with the belief that he could do or be anything that he wanted to do or be. At some point in his life, he was homeless; everything seemed nothing, just emptiness and nothingness, to him. But he was not hopeless. He continued to dream of wealth and success, and his dreams were not mirages. Because of his right doing and right thinking, he made his dreams come true.

Initially, Gardner made his living by selling medical equipment. He did not make enough money to make both ends meet, and his poverty made him homeless for a year.

Then, one day, Gardner met a stockbroker in a red Ferrari, who offered him internship because of his incredible drive and sustained enthusiasm. Thus he began his own successful investment career, and he subsequently even opened his own investment firm, Gardner Rich & Co.

More than two decades later, after the death of his wife, who challenged him to find his true happiness and fulfillment in the remainder of his life, Gardner made a complete career change. He was suddenly awakened to the notion that his fame, success, and wealth seemed like nothing to him then. His feeling of nothingness transformed him completely: he then became a philanthropist and a motivation speaker traveling around the world, focusing not on his own wealth, but on humanity and the needs of others to pursue their own happiness.

According to Gardner, life journey is always a process of lesson learning and forward moving: “People often ask me would I trade anything from my past, and I quickly tell them no, because my past helped to make me into the person I am today.”  Yes, nothingness could be everything to him.

On any life journey, mental focus is essential: focusing not just on the big things in life but also on the small things as well; appreciating what you have, rather than dwelling on what is your nothingness.

What seems to be nothingness in the eyes of the world, when properly valued and put to use, can become anything and everything in the eyes of the beholder. Gardner turned his nothingness into great wealth. His ultimate enlightenment came when he looked at his own wealth in a different perspective-as no more than just nothingness-when he began to refocus his life goals on humanity and on inspiring others to become who they really are.

The bottom line: with wisdom you may know and understand the “nothing is everything” paradox that opens the door to self-enlightenment.

The Way

TAO, the profound wisdom of Lao Tzu, is the way toward knowing and understanding self and others, as well as things and circumstances around self. It may or may not lead to self-enlightenment, but at least it may help you see things as they really are, and not as they should be.

"Not knowing the Way,
but pretending we know,
we remain ignorant, and suffer.

Knowing that we do not know,
we pursue its wisdom:
knowing its origin,
knowing its ending,
and knowing our true nature."
(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, chapter 71)

TAO wisdom begins with emptiness, or more specifically, with an empty mindset.

The emptiness

Enlightenment has its origin from emptiness. Irrespective of whether or not attaining self-enlightenment, emptiness is the way to go toward attaining profound wisdom of living in this material world.

Emptiness is a way of human perception: looking at life experiences without adding anything to them, or without taking away anything from them. It is the thinking of the mind with no assumption and no presumption -- that is, only an empty mindset.

As previously mentioned, emptiness can be either positive or negative (the glass half-full, or the glass half-empty). Positive emptiness can only occur when you allow yourself to surrender completely to any given circumstance or situation without any previous attachment.

According to Lao Tzu, develop an empty mindset, which is more than just “thinking out of the box”: it is your reverse thinking to create your own empty box of thinking.

"An empty mind with no craving and no expectation helps us letting go.
Being in the world and not of the world, we attain heavenly grace.
With heavenly grace, we become pure and selfless.
And everything just settles into its own perfect place."
(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, chapter 3)


ANYTHING IS EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING IS NOTHING! NOTHING IS EVERYTHING!

In the Now

 IN THE NOW

 Daily living wisdom is living in the now, not the past. Yes, we all have a past; some of us may have a pleasant one, while others a less pleasant one. No matter what, the past was gone, and no longer real, except the memory of it. Only the present is real, and that is why it is called "present" -- a gift or present from the Creator.

 Letting go of the past may hold the key to living a stress-free life. It is the wisdom of living well in this day and age. In this material world, many of us believe that more is always better. Why do we want more? The explanation is simple: we tend to identify all material things with our ego: the car we drive, the house we live in, the clothes we wear, the career we have. But they are all in our minds, and they don't last. Knowing this ultimate truth, we still hold on to everything in our possession, refusing to let go. This is how we have created stress in our lives.

 

According to the ancient wisdom of Tao, which is the profound wisdom of Lao Tzu, the ancient sage from China, who was the author of the immortal classic Tao Te Ching, one of the most translated works in world literature, letting go begins with the mind first:

 

"Letting go is emptying the mundane,

to be filled with heavenly grace.

 

Blessed is he who has an empty mind.

He will be filled with knowledge and wisdom from the Creator.

Blessed is he who has no attachment to worldly things.

He will be compensated with heavenly riches.

Blessed is he who has no ego-self.

He will be rewarded with humility to connect with the Creator.

Blessed is he who has no judgment of self and others.

He will find contentment and empathy in everyone.

 

Letting go of everything is the Way to the Creator."

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 9)s

 

Life is about mind over matter. To fully harness your mind power, first of all, you need to fully understand the role of the mind and how your mind works, so that it may work for you, instead of against you; and then learn the strategies to fully utilize your mind power. You think and your thoughts become the raw materials with which you weave the fabrics of your life, including your choices and decisions, your actions and reactions; your thinking is based on your perceptions of your past experiences, and the memories of those experiences.

 

According to Lao Tzu, an empty mind means you let go of all your memories that are responsible for inflating your ego. Without your ego, you have no stress.

IN THE NOW

 

Stephen Lau 

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

 

Anti-Inflammation

 

ANTI-INFLAMMATION

 

Inflammation is a natural immune response to injury, toxins, allergy or infection. Because 70 percent of your immune system cells are located on the lining of your digestive tract, your immune response is greatly affected by the foods you ingest, especially foods that may cause inflammation. Unfortunately, inflammation may worsen symptoms of an autoimmune disease, such as myasthenia gravis.

                     

Eat a moderately low-calorie diet with emphasis on weight loss or weight control. Foods that are high in calories are linked to higher amounts of inflammation, and the greater amount of fat tissue you have, especially around your midsection, the more inflammation you are going to have.

 

Most fresh fruits and vegetables are anti-inflammatory. Eat red, yellow, or orange fruits and vegetables that are particularly loaded with antioxidants such as carotenoids, vitamin C, and quercetin. However, if you are sensitive to food allergies, avoid all “nightshade vegetables” that include eggplant, tomatoes, and potatoes because they contain a chemical called solanine that may trigger an inflammatory response in some individuals who have food allergies. Eggs, dairy products, and wheat are also associated with food allergies in some individuals.

 

Eat high-fiber whole grains, seeds and nuts to reduce levels of C-reactive protein.

 

Avoid all highly processed cereals, sweets, fruit juice, white breads and pasta that increase blood-sugar levels that may trigger the release of insulin and pro-inflammatory chemicals in your body.

 

Cook with anti-inflammatory herbs and spices, such as ginger, cayenne, clove, feverfew, nutmeg, oregano, and rosemary.  Avoid charred or over-grilled foods.

Drink anti-inflammatory beverages, including white, green, and black tea (they contain antioxidant polyphenols), and red wine (no more than 2 drinks per day).

 

An anti-inflammation diet enhances your immune system to enable you to live longer and healthier.

 

The body lives in the physical world. Its fitness affects both positively and negatively the mind and the spirit. Get the resources to take care of the body to take care of the mind and the spirit.

ANTI-INFLAMATORY DIET

Stephen Lau

Copyright© Stephen Lau

 

Expectations and Disappointments

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” Alexander Pope                     

If you are diagnosed with myasthenia gravis, one of the many autoimmune diseases, you may feel devastated when the doctor tells you that there is no cure. When the doctor prescribes some medications for you to treat your disease symptoms, you expect they will be effective; when they don’t work, you then become disappointed.

Given that nearly all of us go through life expecting certain things to happen, we become greatly disappointed when things do not turn out the way we think they should. As a matter of fact, in life, things seldom go our ways, and life is never what it should be. Our disappointments can easily turn into anger, anxiety, despair, regret, and many other negative emotions that adversely affect who we are and how we process our thoughts.

To offset or diminish the devastating emotional consequences as a result of not meeting our expectations, many of us may resort to mentally expecting the worst, instead of the best, while hoping against hope that we may still be pleasantly surprised; deliberately lowering our life expectations to proportionately reduce the extent of our disappointments; and consciously expecting no expectation whatsoever with our complete detachment.

Processing expectations is more complex than we may think. The mental exertion to “expect the unexpected”, to “go with the flow”, and to “live in the present without any future expectation” is easier said than done, and may be even difficult or impossible for most of us. 

So, how do we live our lives in these circumstances? How should we process our life expectations?

THE BOOK OF LIFE AND LIVING may provide you with the wisdom in the art of living well. This 200-page book explains in simple language with common everyday examples to illustrate the essence of Tao wisdom and how it may integrate with conventional wisdom to live a life of your choice. 

THE BOOK OF LIFE AND LIVING is the wisdom in the art of living well.

FREEDOM with BONDAGE shows you how you can have "freedom" and not "bondage" in your everyday choices and decisions. 

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Freedom from Peer Pressure

  

PEER PRESSURE

All teenagers and adolescents experience some pressure while growing up too quickly. They are changing too fast; it is difficult for them to adapt and adjust to those fast changes in their bodies, their minds, and their spirits. The world around them is also changing non-stop; it is easy for them to get lost and confused. Not knowing what to do next creates their inexplicable self-pressure of anxiety, fear, and worry—the so-called angst personality or state of mind.  

Controlling is the natural human response to angst feeling. Controlling others as well as the surrounding circumstances is often perceived as the solution to many human problems. To the human mind, control is power, power is pressure, and pressure is the solution to almost anything and everything in daily life and living. So, controlling is pressing others as well as self to do certain things to get the desired result. But control also and always generates rejection and resistance not only from others but also, ironically, from self.

To deal with the pressure of anxiety, fear, and worry, you must understand their causes. They all originate from expectations. Your parents expect you to get good grades at school; their expectations then become the anxiety of your own expectations. Your expectations to fit in socially then become the fear of your rejection by others. Your expectations to win at your sport competition then become the worry of your defeat.

So, do think twice before you want to control someone through pressure. Pressing someone into doing one thing may end up that someone just doing another. Remember, expectations in life are seldom fulfilled, and that is the reality of life.

Freedom

Be what and who you are, instead of what and who you think or wish you were—that is, being your true self, and not the person that your parents or your teachers want you to become. Your values and behaviors may not agree with those of your parents. For one thing, they always change over the years of your lifespan. So, always speak out what is in your mind, instead of expressing them in rage and temper tantrums. Parents, on the other end of the spectrum, should talk honestly with “I” instead of “you” statements, listen, and speak without judgment. Learning how to agree to disagree avoids further and future conflicts and confrontations that may forever damage the relationships.

Doing what you can with what you have and accepting the consequences will take away your daily stress. For example, look for a part-time job to support your low-income family, de-stress yourself by creating art, doing exercise, playing music, practicing gratitude, and writing journals.

Avoid and do not conform to peer pressure just to gain your acceptance by others with inappropriate behaviors. Likewise, do not press others into their accepting you for who you are. Remember, everyone has the freedom to choose whoever he or she would like to spend time with.

The bottom line: Everyone’s ways of thinking are different and subjective, based on his or her own unique life experiences. So, you just cannot press your thinking on others, and neither can they press theirs on you. The good news is that you can always change your thinking mind, and nothing is set in stone.

Bondage

Pressing others or allowing yourself to be pressed is the way to bondage.

Just look at the vulnerability of the following common scenarios to pressure and angst deranged mind:

           ·       Single-parent household

·       Low-income household with many financial problems

·       Parental marriage disharmony—separation and divorce

·       Physical and verbal abuse from parents

·       Time-stress with too many tasks

·       Too many attachments to materialism

·       An alcohol and drugs environment

·       Teen pregnancy

·       Toxic love relationships

·       Obesity and poor body image

·       Bullying at school or cyberbullying

·       Social stress with verbal aggressions

·       An unsafe neighborhood with many crimes and violence

The only way to turn the bondage into freedom is—be your true self (e.g. not have to act and think like your parents); do your best with what you have (e.g. looking for ways to help your family’s finance); accept the unchangeable (e.g. accepting your teenage pregnancy and be the mother of your child). 

FREEDOM with BONDAGE shows you how you can have "freedom" and not "bondage" in your everyday choices and decisions regarding peer pressure.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau