As you continue to grow up, you are constantly exposed to different perceptions and perspectives of your daily life experiences. In the development phase, the input in your thinking mind was automatic and passive because your immature mind then was unable to filter all its mental input. Your thoughts were only a micro reflection of those of your parents or of those around you.
But, now, in the transition phase, with incessant learning from different life experiences, your thinking mind begins to focus more on the pleasant and less on the unpleasant, or to choose to interpret any mental input according to its relevance to your daily life and living. Your selectivity then begins to alter how your thinking mind processes any future life experience. This is also how delusions, myths, and half-truths are created in your thinking mind, not letting you live in reality.
Freedom
You are living in a world of misinformation because everyone is free to give out or share any information, whether it is true or untrue.
So, you need to have the wisdom to ask
yourself many self-intuitive questions about the source of the
information, and the reliability of that source, as well as about how
and why your thoughts may be different from those of your parents, your
teachers, or those around you.
Irrespective of the authenticity of the
information that has changed your thinking mind, you have the freedom to
“receive” or to “reject” that information. For example, the information says
that earning a college degree will give you a better career; but you can still
pursue your career without your college education.
So, speak out what is in your mind, instead of hiding it at the back of your mind.
Likewise, parents or teachers should give you the opportunity to freely express yourself with no condemnation or discipline. Staying calm is setting a good example to “re-connect” you with the truth with non-punitive action to avoid any subsequent bad relationship.
Bondage
Not speaking out what is deep inside your thinking mind, you may begin to lie about your thoughts, your perceptions, as well as your perspectives of what is happening in your daily life. Lies and manipulations of others through your dishonesty may become your new norm: you may want to lie about anything and everything to get what you want or the approval from your parents or teachers.
Living in this world of insecurity and
violence, you may also turn to lies to overcome your fear and to protect yourself
and others.
But the reality is that your frequent
lying ultimately destroys the trust of others in you, and becomes destructive
in your future relationships with others. Remember, forgiveness may be free,
but trust must be earned.
In addition, your lying inflates your
wishful thinking, making you live in fantasy, instead of living in reality.
But your bondage can become your freedom
if you stop lying and always speak the truth, no matter how unpleasant it may
be. Remember, only the truth will set you free. Also, overcome you fear as the
rational of your lying. Life is full of challenges. Just learn to adapt
yourself and face them head on, instead of avoiding them.
Running away from fear only
intensifies your fear. Excessive fear leads to addictive behavior of lying or
compulsive lying, which is a mental disorder.
Wishful thinking, over the long haul,
creates many self-delusions and self-illusions that prevent your thinking mind
from separating the truths from the half-truths, and thus depriving you of
clarity of thinking, which is your wisdom in growing up as a teenager.
So, do not let lies hold you in bondage.
Growing up in a world of
infinite information with unlimited freedom to gain access to it may often lead
to your over-indulgence on the Internet. Remember the universal truth: any
excess only leads to depletion. The reality is that there are many other things
you need to focus on throughout your transition phase, such as your life goals
and passions, your academic education and training, your social and
interpersonal relationships, and many others.
So, focusing too much on the Internet is not
the way to go. The Internet provides you with lots of information, but also
lots of misinformation that may give you the freedom to make the wrong
choices and the wrong decisions.
Also, spending hours on
online game playing is online social disinhibition and lowering self-esteem.
Spending too much time on the Internet to
seek information to do the wrong things, such as drug abuse, gambling, and
pornography, often lead to addiction, which is a lifelong bondage for many
teenagers and adolescents.
Remember, Internet obsession is one of the
sources of the development of a compulsive mind, and the underlying cause of
anxiety, stress, and ultimately the bondage to mental depression.
To free yourself from the
bondage of attachment to too many things in your daily life, change your
thinking mind: prioritize your daily doing based on your core values and
your needs, but not your wants.
FREEDOM with BONDAGE shows you how you can have "freedom" and not "bondage" in your everyday choices and decisions.
Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
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